裸贷、卖肾、头等舱:贪慕虚荣毁一生,家长如何帮孩子培养好心态

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I watched a show a few days ago and I was very angry.

In the program, a girl and a parent who finished the college entrance examination said that when they go to college, their parents must buy a three-piece apple, which is an Apple mobile phone, a computer, and a tablet. Too much more, the girl said that she had to go to school in the first class of the plane. If these two requirements are not met, then the university will not be on!

After the program was broadcast, it immediately triggered a hot discussion among netizens. Netizens said that the girl actually wanted to enjoy the material and use her own future to marry her parents. Such vanity is really a ruin.

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In fact, in real life, there are countless examples of more blood than girls.

Kindergarten children are more expensive than the cars they drive, the houses they live in, and the toys they play. A little bigger, the clothes are required to be famous brands, shoes are not Adi, AJ does not wear, mobile phones are not too shameful for Apple, etc. and so on.

However, most of these items are expensive, not all families can afford, so many children move to "brain."

21-year-old sophomore student Zhu Yudi borrowed more than 200,000 yuan from more than 10 online loan platforms. He was unable to tell his family because he could not repay. He eventually chose to commit suicide. After investigation, he found that the purpose of his loan was basically for gathering meals and repaying loans.

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More girls only want to buy a bag or change a mobile phone, and accept the naked chat and accompanying sleep of many campus loans.

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Foreign media reports on Chinese college students' bare loans

Do you still remember the boy who bought the kidney to buy an Apple mobile phone?

xx在过去,小王以22000元的价格卖掉了他的肾脏用于iPhone4s。今天,许多年后,小王的健康身体被打破,经检查后被诊断为肾功能缺陷,这是一种三级残疾。现在病情越来越严重,我无法照顾自己。我只能在我的余生中待在床上,所以我可以照顾我所爱的人。连续透析的成本早已在国内被挖空。

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网络

茨威格曾经说过:“命运给予的所有礼物都已经在黑暗中被标记出来了。”

孩子,你得到一个虚荣的时刻,但你必须付出沉重的代价!

心理学家柏格森说,“虚荣很难说是一种坏事,但所有的恶行都是在虚荣之下诞生的,但它们只是满足虚荣的手段。”

一旦一个人有虚荣心,就会有一些不切实际的欲望。为了实现这些虚幻的欲望,他可能会有错误的想法和行为错误。

孩子的虚荣心是怎么产生的?

事实上,在幼儿时期,孩子会有虚荣心,但幼儿时期虚荣孩子的自我意识发展的普遍现象。由于孩子的自我认知能力差,他会高估自己,认为自己比别人好,不能客观地评价自己。

然而,随着孩子的成长,孩子仍然有虚荣心,但有几个原因。

父母太傲慢,害怕孩子的不满

家庭对孩子的爱包括两个方面:

在物质上,孩子有反应;在精神上,孩子是顺从的。

这很困难,不容易拒绝孩子。

慢慢地,孩子会产生一种错觉,即家里的钱取之不尽,用之不竭。我认为无论您的要求是什么,父母都会满意。

这种不受约束的爱情和纵容使得孩子们对消费有了错误的看法,变得越来越随意,所以他们的欲望在不断扩大,他们的胃口越来越大。

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父母是潘比对虚荣的热爱的“源头”

青年心理咨询中心主任王洪祥说:“孩子们之间的虚荣和爱情的浩瀚主要受成年人的影响。如果父母是虚荣和爱,那么孩子们很容易就会得到父母的话语和受到影响。“

“吴秀波桃色事件”的女主角陈玉林,七年来的主要工作是买,买,玩。名牌豪华轿车,私人飞机,环游世界。

陈玉林的父母喜欢他们安排,吃,喝,享受生活的一切。

他们知道他们的女儿很年轻而且不工作,但这种高调的奢侈品非常不正常。她不仅没有说服女儿迷路,而且还会浪费她的女儿。

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父母的虚荣心不断宽恕女儿在欲望的深渊中越陷越深。

我看过报告《妈妈,全班就我没割双眼皮了》,成都高中生肖增说:

“我们班上共有32人。几乎所有单眼皮的女孩都剪掉了双眼皮。有几个男孩也剪掉了它们。现在班上只剩下几个人了。”

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最可怕的是,大多数这些孩子都会切开眼睑,其中大部分是父母的问题。为了不让孩子在起跑线上失利,还有一个7岁的孩子,母亲用它来切割双眼皮。

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斯科特在《少有人走的路》中说:他们不禁模仿父母,抄袭父母的生活方式,并将其视为生活的标准和榜样。

孩子最初的“穿越”萌芽只是为了证明他比其他人更强大。但是,如果父母忠于虚荣,他们会进一步鼓励他们的傲慢,使他们更加肆无忌惮,并使他们的孩子的价值远离赛道,这将对增长产生许多不利影响。

3.大环境的影响

根据一些调查,50%的网民认为,社会上的不公平对比使得贫困家庭的孩子容易产生诸如自卑等负面情绪,而且减贫比以前更加困难。

离开租来的房子后,7天没有消息。信息写道:我想在7天内“脱离”世界,我希望我下辈子不会成为贫困家庭的孩子。

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白岩松说:“爬是习惯,自然不开心。当人们不寻求幸福,但比别人幸福时,幸福远离我们。”

当孩子们在一起时,他们将不可避免地相互比较,比较他们的家庭,比较材料,并获得他们的关注和满足。其中的儿童将不可避免地受到影响,盲目模仿和追随。这种比较会严重影响孩子的心理健康,增加孩子的心理负担。

每个人都想要美好的事物和美好的生活。面对诱惑,如何能够坚持一个人的心,如何正确对待它,掌握规模更重要。

作为父母,当孩子年幼时,应该为孩子培养这种良好的心态和能力。

1.父母以身作则

教育家Holmlinski曾经说过:每看到一个孩子,你就会看到自己;你教育你的孩子,就是教育自己,测试自己。当我们是父母时,孩子是对的。

Parents should pay attention to continuously improve their own quality, attach importance to leading by example and preaching by words, not quantify the world by material, always set an example for children, and use healthy thoughts and good conduct to help children develop good thoughts, good character and good habits. Standardize yourself and set an example for your child.

The strength of parents as role models is far greater than any preaching.

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2. Recognize the rationality of the comparison and the imbalance is the growth motivation

Cai Kangyong said:

If you envy the riches of successful people, don't just imitate what they are rich. To imitate, imitate what they had before they were rich. Their eagle-like exploration, snake-like concentration, ant-like hard work, and patience-like patience are all things that are swaying in the air.

First of all, we must admit that the comparison behavior is always objective and cannot be avoided. Secondly, we must face up to the two sides of things. Parents should grasp the reasonable positiveness of the comparison and guide the children correctly and turn them into the driving force for hard work.

The child has the psychology of comparing, indicating that the child is competitively conscious and wants to do better than others and surpass others.

As a parent, we must give the child the right guidance, from material comparison to learning, personality, and spiritual comparison. Tell the child:

When you are better than others, don't be too proud.

When you are worse than others, find your own shortcomings and work hard to make up the wrong direction. Be good at discovering your own progress and other strengths and making constant self-affirmations.

Go to suffer bitterness and get what you want to be a person!

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3. Cultivate your child's correct concept of money, don't love children.

The educator Merkel said: "Money is a compulsory course in life and the focus of children's education, just as money is the focus of the family."

xx让孩子们正确看待金钱,而不是市场,而不是功利主义,但让孩子们在贫穷时不要愤慨和愤慨,他们在富裕时不会吹嘘和炫耀。

让孩子了解家庭的收入和支出标准,培养孩子的管理能力,教育孩子如何合理正确地消费,尝试做投资和财务管理,合理分配零用钱。

让孩子们知道他们的父母很难赚钱,让孩子知道如何感恩并培养他们的家庭责任感。

作为父母,有必要等待孩子延迟满意度,让孩子明白任何努力都需要努力。避免孩子快速成功的心态。

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卢梭在《爱弥儿》写道,人类教育在他出生时就开始了,在他能说话和倾听别人之前,他接受了教育。当孩子出生时,它是一张白纸。当你写上善良时,你就会获得善良;如果你随意写,你只能得到一个暴力的熊孩子。

写下你的放纵和爱,然后你会得到一个虚荣的孩子。

教育决定孩子未来的生活,并决定孩子未来的努力方向。家长必须注意每项教育的细节,以帮助孩子更加坚定顺畅地走路!

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我是一个温暖的木头,我的家庭有两个孩子,一个工作的母亲。

我是一个喜欢摄影的画报工作者。我喜欢用图片来保持生命,用文字来记录我的生活。

青云奖多次获奖。我喜欢用我的话来分享我的育儿理念。不,穆小文